Entertainment / Pak Lah / Socio-economy

Don’t worry, Government understands the hardship we face!

The Star today reads;

IPOH: The Government understands the hardship the people will face following the fuel price increase, Housing and Local Government Minister Datuk Seri Ong Ka Chuan said.

Ong said the Government had no choice but to increase the price due to the rise in global crude oil prices.

“Even with the increase, the Government is still subsiding petrol prices by 30 sen for every litre as the current market price is RM3 per litre,” he told reporters here yesterday after attending a fund-raising dinner for Sichuan earthquake victims.

Ong, who is also MCA secretary-general, added that to ease the people’s burden, the Government was giving out rebates such as the RM625 for cars below 2,000cc.

Therefore, in order to lead by example, The Prime Minister had slashed his own salary by 50%. The rest of the cabinet will get a 10% pay cut. The 4th floor goons however will get a 75% pay cut for giving unreliable advice and bringing shame to their Oxbridge degrees.

Furthermore, all petrol allowances enjoyed by the ministers and deputy ministers will be revoked. They now have to pay their daily petrol consumption using their own salary. The damaging scenario whereby the poor subsidising the rich ministers should immediately be stopped.

In a brilliant afterthought, the Prime Minister will go overseas to attract foreign investors to Malaysia in order to increase the revenue of the nation. A move which many thought should have been done nearly 4 years ago. Instead of sleeping all the time, he would meet business owners, industry players and world leaders in the effort to ‘sell’ Malaysia as a strategically attractive business haven.

Economy analysts nationwide concurred with this belated effort saying that ‘it is better late than never’. They further argued that when the ‘fixed costs’ of the nation increased, it is only logical to increase its ‘revenue’. Why bother inflicting more pains to the rakyat when this problem could have been routed out by having more income? After all, he and the Governor of Bank Negara often boasted that Malaysia had trade surpluses of gazillion billions of ringgit!

According to the Prime Minister, he had only realised about this good economic theory after waking up from a long slumber during the cabinet meeting. He immediately cancelled all his monthly holiday trips to Perth and Turkey and ordered the serving staff in the cabinet meeting room to open up the curtains so that sunlight can come through. This would certainly help save up the electricity bills as well.

He will reschedule all the previously cancelled meetings with world leaders starting next week. He will resurrect the Langkawi International Dialogue, attend the World Economic Convention, personally attend the G15 meeting, and make a personal demand in the United Nations to curb the unlawful and damaging act of crude oil speculation.

On top of that, the Prime Minister will ask his sister in law whether she could donate a few million barrels of oil from Iraq which she had managed to secure when he was the Deputy Prime Minister.

To alleviate the plight of the people further, he will pump in yet another RM4 billion to upgrade the public transport system. For the past 4 years at the helm, this is the third time he pumped in RM4 billion under the pretext of improving the public transport system. The first was in 2004 and the second was in 2006. As the result, public transport system in Malaysia is better than any developed countries worldwide. This latest move will make Malaysia as the leading role model of a perfect public transport system in the whole world.

Lastly, he hoped that the people would forgive him for being lazy and uninspiring for the past 4 years at the helm. He had no choice anyway. Not many people were born smart and hardworking.

3 thoughts on “Don’t worry, Government understands the hardship we face!

  1. Nice one, JMD! It would be funny if things aren’t so dismal.

    I get heartsick everytime I read about Malaysia. This may sound fanciful but it’s like she has been taken over by the forces of darkness. When you think things can’t get any worse, the cretins who are sucking her dry up and surprise you.

    JMD : Yes Mekyam, it sure is dismal! 😦 *sigh*


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